I got to play in the kitchen some yesterday. I had one smashing success and one “meh, this needs work”. The smashing success was bacon wrapped chili lime chicken thighs!
The lesser meal was dinner. I had been planning to make steamed mussels…however… I botched that. Long story short, I unknowingly massacred the live mussels. I didn’t know they were alive, OKAY?! I had also bought some bay scallops so I settled for making those. I found this recipe for seared sea scallops and thought I could adapt it for bay ones. Nope.
Either my pan wasn’t hot enough or it simply doesn’t work with bitty ones. Instead of searing, they came out kind of rubbery and “bleh”.
In other news, I wanted to share something I have purposely not looked at in a long time. When I was going through my bodybuilding prep, I meticulously documented everything. I wanted a record of every freaking detail that I did, ate, or thought about (hence this blog’s existence) so I could replicate or tweak it for future preps (lulz).
Nowadays, I kind of make a point not to look at those records for fear of bringing up memories of how absolutely nuts I was.
Don’t believe me? Here is the log from a random day of prep…this was a high carb day somewheres in Week 17. All my days were low fat days. I cut out the actual calorie & macro counts as I don’t want anyone trying to duplicate them or think that they should eat that way. Don’t do it. Stop. Really.
I documented every calorie/macro gram for every bite I ate for every day for 25 weeks. Even every singular oz of spinach. Don’t be fooled by the 1/2 cup on the oats either… I weighed that shit on my scale. Don’t mess around, brah.
Looking at some of the numbers makes my brain hurt. I’d have some days that weren’t bad at around 15-1700Kcal but how on earth I split the lower days at 1000Kcal amongst 7 meals I don’t even know. The macro proportions were also entirely different from what I eat now. Since I don’t count a dime anymore and refuse to ever again, my macro counts are ballpark in my head. I’d say I get somewhere between 50-75% the protein I was taking in before, low to moderate carbs, and probz 3 or 4 times the amount of fat.
Regardless, it’s an interesting switch up and I feel hella better today. Yeah. I said “hella”. WHAT?!
I was afraid that when I looked back on this, along with my old progress photos, I would fall into some kind of mixed mental lapse of “I want to be that lean again” and “omg-panic-my-shit-has-been-stirred”. Oddly enough, neither of those things occurred. I actually felt proud afterwards but not in the sense that you would think.
Proud that my relationship with food has come so far and proud that when I looked back on the progress pictures, I was grossed out. Truthfully. I could not see it at the time, but looking back on them, I looked emaciated. It was so clearly unhealthy.
I debated whether or not to share that picture.
Partially because I don’t want anyone aspiring to look like that if they don’t naturally (hey, some people can genetically maintain super lean) and partially because my bed in the background was embarrassing. I guess contest prep fog does not lend itself to wanting to clean.
Never say never, but that will never be worth it again.
I like wine too much.